Recent Story: Penguins Acting Strange, Pt One

This is part one of “Recent Story: Penguins Acting Strange”, to see part two, click here.

Recently, penguins around the world have been acting strange. Several emperor penguins have been going on rampages, attacking scientists. “Little penguins”, a type of small penguin, are going around in groups, swarms, jumping on random citizens, pecking and biting. Scientists managed to trap one in a cage and are examining it. They find that there is no difference between the DNA of the crazy penguin and a sample from penguins before the crazy ones. They are stumped. Why are these penguins attacking? What are they angry about?

Scientists around the world are researching penguins from around the world. All of the penguins have gone on rampage and all of them are very angry. Scientists have a theory: Sometimes when scientists go out to Antarctica, they run out of food and are stranded on the icy continent. Penguins are the most plump and easiest thing to catch in the frozen desert. The scientists eat the penguins to survive. After all, it’s the only food source they have.

But if only we could prove the scientist’s theory. Then we would know for sure. But how? We can’t just ask a penguin! Or can we? That’s right, scientists are going to build a machine to read the mind waves of penguins, then change them into sound! Genius! But are penguins smart enough? Past tests of scientists have proven that penguins are not smart enough to talk if they had the vocal ability. But maybe these rampaging penguins are. After all, they have been joining together and attacking people. Maybe they have evolved since the past tests. Maybe they are as smart as a human being! They may even be able to build machines if they are that smart! But if they can, they could build machines to use against us! They could start a war, the war, the Great Penguin War!

Was it something they ate? Was it evolution? Come back next time for more on “Recent Story: Penguins Acting Strange”

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Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird, Pt Four

This is the continued story of “Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird Pt, One”,  Pt Two and Pt ThreeClick Here to see Pt One. Click Here to see Pt Two. Click here to see Pt Three.

Recently, our real policemen have gotten to work, trying to find the rest of the gang of imposter policemen. Why do we say rest of the gang? Because the real policemen have caught one criminal of the gang already, Bartholomew Baker. We have gotten some information from him, but only personal information. We want to know more about the gang! What is their next plot and what are their plans for it? Who will be their next victim and one thing has stumped us for ages. What is the gang’s name? We want to know about their leader, about their plots and everything about them. We want to know if they are crazy or just tricky, evil or just secretly nice? Stinky or smelly? What are they and what will they be?!

Our policemen have been searching around for clues of the criminals, the gang of imposter policemen. The policemen interrogate many people including twenty old ladies. Then, while they interrogate the twentieth old lady, they see a crystal on her necklace. They are about to leave, but then they think, where does this old lady get such a beautiful necklace? Stealing, perhaps?! They run back to her and the strongest of the team picks her up, hangs her upside down and starts shaking her while asking; “Huh? Is this what you want, old lady? Huh?! Tell us, where did ya get that crystal?!” She replies, faking she doesn’t know what’s going on; “Oh my! What are you talking about?” In a frail voice. She’s faking it. She’s just a thief in disguise. We don’t even know it’s a she. Another policeman replies to the old, old, old, old lady; “Oh yeah? Listen to her, she’s pretending she doesn’t know what’s going on! Ha!” Another adds; “We know that you know that you’re a thief! That crystal on your necklace, a stolen gem!” She replies, stuttering like she didn’t steal the necklace; “Oh! This necklace? It’s a present from my husband. It’s only cheap plastic, though.”  Another policeman joins in; “Yeah right! We know you stole it and it’s real and we know you don’t have a husband. Your probably the husband yourself! Now let’s take off that phony disguise!” “Yeah! Yeah”, Many of the policemen yell. Then the old lady says as she points to a group of people, running; “Hey, isn’t that the gang of criminals you were looking for?” They police turn around and see the criminals, their whole gang with them! One policeman shouts back to the old lady; “We’ll deal with you later!” “Oh my!” The old lady says right before she faints.

The police are on the move and they are running after the criminals. Many criminals shout back taunts to the policemen; “Hey! Speed up your big fat engine, slow pokes! Ha ha!” the policemen ignore them. But then, the criminals are trapped. They are standing with one side of them facing toward a cliff dropping to the ocean, and the policemen on the other side. But then, they see an exit, they split up and some of them run to the left and some to the right,  where the policemen forgot to block! But then, the criminals slip and all fall down to the ocean. The policemen call in a rescue team and they bring back all the criminals to base. The chief of police calls for the leader of the criminals, so the other policemen call out at the criminals, asking each one “Are you the leader of your gang?” All of them answer “No”, besides the one in the last cell. They ask him and he answers “Yep diddity doo!”. They bring him to a dark room they call “The Interrogation Room”. They ask him; “Why did you do crimes?” He refuses to answer, so they are forced to take him to court.

The judge asks the criminal gang’s leader; “What is your argument?” After the policemen said their story. The criminal answers; “The policemen are imposters, they are fakies! Take them away!” The judge asks the policemen; “Is this true?” “No!” They reply, “It’s all a lie!” The judge says to himself quietly; “I’m not sure I can believe that.” then he yells; “Take them away! Into their new cells!” The security guards ask; “Who? Who should we take ‘way, boss?” “The criminals!” He answers. “Which criminals, boss?” The judge sighs; “The former policemen!” “Oh, ok… Boss.” The policemen yell as they are taken away; “No! They are lying! Why would you believe criminals?” The security guards answer; “Because we saw you beat up that old lady.” Yes, but that was a gem thief! Don’t you know?” “Gem thief, you say?” the judge asks. “Yes! Gem thief’in!” The judge continues; “Let them go, they are innocent.” Then, one of the real criminals yells; “We are innocent too, we just remember! Let Bert tell you the whole story.” Bert (one of the people from the gang) starts; “It was all on October twenty-two, the day of the incident—“ Someone interrupts; “Wow! Nice British accent!” Bert continues; “Thank you, ol’ chap. Anyway, the day of the incident, we were all in our lodge, well you see, the people you call the gang of criminals are all really brothers. So we were all in our lodge, sleeping, and suddenly, aliens broke into our house, but we didn’t know it yet. They jumped in, then when they made the sound of their battle cry, we all awoke. But the aliens were too quick. They jumped onto our beds and sucked our brains out. The only reason I remember what happened is because I have a very large brain, they couldn’t finish it all in one sitting. After the aliens ate our brains, they vomited them up, then put microchips in the mush. They then inserted our brains back into us and could mind control us. But we are not being mind controlled now.” The judge yelled out; “Oh yeah?! How do we know you aren’t?” “Because we told you, silly ol’ chap!” Bert replied. “And how can I believe you?” Asked the judge. “Because you do! We know that!” replied Bert. “Oh, yeah.” Said the judge. Then the judge called out; “All in this court room are innocent, besides those other guys, the bank robbers, but they’re locked up. So anyway, these guys, not the bank robbers are innocent, not guilty!” The crowd cheered. But still, the mysterious past of the snake lady is unknown, and we still don’t know where it is lurking now…

The End

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