Breaking News: Crazy Lady Strikes Again

This is the continued story of  Abby Anderson and her dog. If you have not read the first part of this story, click this link to do so now.

Since our last news about the brave dog and girl…

the crazy poison lady, also known as Barbara Simpson, now a criminal and dog kidnapper, has escaped from a sentence to twenty years in jail, shortening her sentence to a mere five years. She currently is in the south area, probably stocking up on her poison called “Claritin” to power her up more with crazy energy. If you live around the Calousfornia area, please be very cautious outside the house. Abby Anderson, now a ninth grader, says; “When I heard she was out (of jail) I knew the police needed back-up. This person is crazy, and if she’s out, I’m gonna get her.” The courageous girl volunteered to help the police track down the crazy criminal. News came about the city from other reporters that “She’s out and crazier than ever.” During the escape, guard Thompson, an elite police officer, says; “She ran past me like a bolt of lightnin’. It was worse than ever before. Twenty men scraped… another twenty… bruised.”   The police immediately set off, while two stayed and listened to a conversation of  Barbara and her cell mate, Becky Thompson, related to Officer Thompson, but went rogue and crazy. The recorder started playback. Becky: C’mon, we can get outta here together, it’ll be as easy as popcorny underwear! Barbara: What? What are you talking about? I have another court case tomorrow and I’ve got a good lawyer. I can get out once they prove it was all a mistake. Becky: Oh, no. Those dohickey lawyers do you a no good! They just cry about sayin’ “Oh my oh my! I’m so rich from bein’ me!”. You’ll never get any proof outta em’.” Barbara: But I got someone good to do it for me, he doesn’t even cost a dime. He’s my brother. Don’t you trust yours? Becky: Oh! Them brothers! Oh! My brother was the one who got me here in the first place! Barbara: Then maybe you deserve it. Becky: Deserve it? I’m innocent! Maybe you are evil too like em’ brothers! (attacking Barbara) I’m gonna get ya! Barbara: No, please! Becky: Fine! If you make me a deal. Iv’e been waitin’ my whole life fer this. Now you have slim hands, grab that key through them bars and unlock the cell. Then you gotta run down the hallway quick as a flash, and create a distraction. Then you go attack the guards and while I run away, you attack em’ more! Then we are both out! And you’d better stay out of jail! Don’t let them police catch ya or I will! And I’ll get ya! Barbara: No! I won’t do it! Becky: You’d better! And if ya don’t, I’ll turn ya inta pocket lint! Hee! Ha! Obviously, they were both speaking in code, pretending to threaten one another, but really planning their escape. That’s why we stopped Becky from getting out, but the crazy Barbara escaped, and is now loose.

Police and Abby are taking all their time to help and find the dangerous criminal, before she goes back to her terrible ways. Soon, the brave girl Abby found a slide of DNA from the crazy criminal Barbara.  She was on her track. The criminal was soon found and caught in an apartment living with a woman named Jacky, probably another criminal. Jacky must have also been crazy, because she came out and surrendered herself to the police. Jacky says; “I didn’t know what to do, I just wanted to help the old woman! She came to my apartment  and asked for food and water. I took it to myself to take care of her. It just made me so upset that the police were handling the woman so rough!” Obviously, Jacky is a helper of the group of women, Becky, Barbara, and her. She must have been speaking in code to her minion. Abby quickly took a plane to her house, took her mom’s gasoline stash and again lit the living space of the criminal on fire. Except this time, hundreds of people were also living in the place. And this time, it was an apartment, and they were all elderly people. The police took no care, because obviously, they were criminals and the apartment home was a secret hide-out for them. “You could hear the obviously fake cries of the elderly people, pretending to be innocent just to be rescued. Unfortunately, all of them managed to escape the blazing building, and all survived.” Says Abby, the ninth grade hero. When the police found the elderly criminals had escaped the now smoldering building, they tracked them all down and arrested them immediately, with no court. They already had sure proof they were criminals. Jacky Johnson, the owner of the apartment, yelled; “Oh no! The dogs!” as she was being arrested. Soon, the police found many dogs, of one named Roberto, with no hair and brown bumps covering the body. Here is a photograph of Barbara holding the clearly sick dog.

Jacky also yelled; “But my dog! My dog is trapped! My world’s ugliest dog contest! Ruined!” She was clearly testing chemicals on poor dogs during the night while Barbara drank poison. She must have made this poor dog into a hideous beast to go to her “World’s Ugliest Dog Contest” Which was code for her boss’s lab, where her boss would pick from all the undercover agents, which dog was ugliest, so they could send it to the planet mars with a special suit to breathe, then tell the goverment about alien sightings, to start an alien epidemic, so everyone would be too distracted, and would not see while they criminal team helps Becky escape from prison.

But this was all stopped by the help of Abby, and her trusty dog “Tan-ish White-ish man”.

Recently, reporters have stopped by Abby’s house and admired her dog at his full grown stage, while taking some photos.


Breaking News: Dog Climbs Up Bamboo

Breaking news! Dog tries to climb up bamboo and nearly falls! Dog terrified.

Here you see a photo of the now terrified dog, about to jump for his life dangering fall. The story started when, Abby Anderson, a fourth grader in elementary school, was walking home from class. She says; “I found this puppy dangling by a bamboo leaf, then I was shrieking with fear when the dog fell, but caught himself while falling on the three hundred foot tall bamboo tree.” Young Abby may sound like a liar, but when the reporters came to the scene with a yard stick to measure, they discovered Abby was right. The bamboo tree was exactly three hundred feet tall, like Abby reported. She told her mother of the terrifying news and had her call the ambulance immediately. But the stubborn ambulance people refused and said; “We are absolutely  not helping this puppy, he is just going to fall, or you will have to help him yourself.” Abby and the crowd watching the huge and devastating story panicked, as time ran out for the poor puppy. Suddenly, the puppy began to whine softly, sounding completely terrified. Jack Smithson, one of the many of the panicking crowd, says; “We knew time was running out,and  there was nothing we could think of to do.” Slowly, the puppy started slipping. The crowd went silent. All they could do was to hope for a happy ending of the dramatic story. Everyone closed their eyes, then, they heard a soft thump sound. The crowd opened their eyes, to see the puppy safely cradled in young Abby’s arms. Abby the hero. Everyone cheered loudly. Even the people who didn’t see the dramatic story cheered. Abby named the pup “Tan-ish White-ish Man” for all the drama he’s been through. Then, when one person got close enough to see the pup’s face, she suddenly started yelling; “Stop! Stop! No!” The crowd fell silent. She continued; “That is my prize climbing puppy! I’m sorry little girl, but this dog is mine. Sweetie, can you hand him over to me, please?” Abby knew this was a threat and started beating the woman with a  stick. The woman yelled; “No! Stop!” But the girl knew she was a criminal, probably at a plot to steal puppies, forcibly teach them to climb, and only feed them sardines, which are very low in calcium. The brave girl then called the police yelling; “Help! There’s a crazy person trying to steal  Tan-ish White-ish man!” The police came immediately. The fourth grade girl then took her mom’s spare gasoline stash, poured it over the crazy woman’s house, then took a match and lit it all on fire. The crazy woman screamed as she was being taken away; “NO! My house! My collection! My bird is flying away!” The police knew she was obviously very crazy. Probably drinking poison in the middle of the night. The police did end up to find some kind of poison called “Claritin” Probably mass produced in the south. When it was all over, Abby’s mother renamed her daughter a new name, to publicize her awesomeness, “Dog and Town Savior Girl.”