Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird, Pt Four

This is the continued story of “Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird Pt, One”,  Pt Two and Pt ThreeClick Here to see Pt One. Click Here to see Pt Two. Click here to see Pt Three.

Recently, our real policemen have gotten to work, trying to find the rest of the gang of imposter policemen. Why do we say rest of the gang? Because the real policemen have caught one criminal of the gang already, Bartholomew Baker. We have gotten some information from him, but only personal information. We want to know more about the gang! What is their next plot and what are their plans for it? Who will be their next victim and one thing has stumped us for ages. What is the gang’s name? We want to know about their leader, about their plots and everything about them. We want to know if they are crazy or just tricky, evil or just secretly nice? Stinky or smelly? What are they and what will they be?!

Our policemen have been searching around for clues of the criminals, the gang of imposter policemen. The policemen interrogate many people including twenty old ladies. Then, while they interrogate the twentieth old lady, they see a crystal on her necklace. They are about to leave, but then they think, where does this old lady get such a beautiful necklace? Stealing, perhaps?! They run back to her and the strongest of the team picks her up, hangs her upside down and starts shaking her while asking; “Huh? Is this what you want, old lady? Huh?! Tell us, where did ya get that crystal?!” She replies, faking she doesn’t know what’s going on; “Oh my! What are you talking about?” In a frail voice. She’s faking it. She’s just a thief in disguise. We don’t even know it’s a she. Another policeman replies to the old, old, old, old lady; “Oh yeah? Listen to her, she’s pretending she doesn’t know what’s going on! Ha!” Another adds; “We know that you know that you’re a thief! That crystal on your necklace, a stolen gem!” She replies, stuttering like she didn’t steal the necklace; “Oh! This necklace? It’s a present from my husband. It’s only cheap plastic, though.”  Another policeman joins in; “Yeah right! We know you stole it and it’s real and we know you don’t have a husband. Your probably the husband yourself! Now let’s take off that phony disguise!” “Yeah! Yeah”, Many of the policemen yell. Then the old lady says as she points to a group of people, running; “Hey, isn’t that the gang of criminals you were looking for?” They police turn around and see the criminals, their whole gang with them! One policeman shouts back to the old lady; “We’ll deal with you later!” “Oh my!” The old lady says right before she faints.

The police are on the move and they are running after the criminals. Many criminals shout back taunts to the policemen; “Hey! Speed up your big fat engine, slow pokes! Ha ha!” the policemen ignore them. But then, the criminals are trapped. They are standing with one side of them facing toward a cliff dropping to the ocean, and the policemen on the other side. But then, they see an exit, they split up and some of them run to the left and some to the right,  where the policemen forgot to block! But then, the criminals slip and all fall down to the ocean. The policemen call in a rescue team and they bring back all the criminals to base. The chief of police calls for the leader of the criminals, so the other policemen call out at the criminals, asking each one “Are you the leader of your gang?” All of them answer “No”, besides the one in the last cell. They ask him and he answers “Yep diddity doo!”. They bring him to a dark room they call “The Interrogation Room”. They ask him; “Why did you do crimes?” He refuses to answer, so they are forced to take him to court.

The judge asks the criminal gang’s leader; “What is your argument?” After the policemen said their story. The criminal answers; “The policemen are imposters, they are fakies! Take them away!” The judge asks the policemen; “Is this true?” “No!” They reply, “It’s all a lie!” The judge says to himself quietly; “I’m not sure I can believe that.” then he yells; “Take them away! Into their new cells!” The security guards ask; “Who? Who should we take ‘way, boss?” “The criminals!” He answers. “Which criminals, boss?” The judge sighs; “The former policemen!” “Oh, ok… Boss.” The policemen yell as they are taken away; “No! They are lying! Why would you believe criminals?” The security guards answer; “Because we saw you beat up that old lady.” Yes, but that was a gem thief! Don’t you know?” “Gem thief, you say?” the judge asks. “Yes! Gem thief’in!” The judge continues; “Let them go, they are innocent.” Then, one of the real criminals yells; “We are innocent too, we just remember! Let Bert tell you the whole story.” Bert (one of the people from the gang) starts; “It was all on October twenty-two, the day of the incident—“ Someone interrupts; “Wow! Nice British accent!” Bert continues; “Thank you, ol’ chap. Anyway, the day of the incident, we were all in our lodge, well you see, the people you call the gang of criminals are all really brothers. So we were all in our lodge, sleeping, and suddenly, aliens broke into our house, but we didn’t know it yet. They jumped in, then when they made the sound of their battle cry, we all awoke. But the aliens were too quick. They jumped onto our beds and sucked our brains out. The only reason I remember what happened is because I have a very large brain, they couldn’t finish it all in one sitting. After the aliens ate our brains, they vomited them up, then put microchips in the mush. They then inserted our brains back into us and could mind control us. But we are not being mind controlled now.” The judge yelled out; “Oh yeah?! How do we know you aren’t?” “Because we told you, silly ol’ chap!” Bert replied. “And how can I believe you?” Asked the judge. “Because you do! We know that!” replied Bert. “Oh, yeah.” Said the judge. Then the judge called out; “All in this court room are innocent, besides those other guys, the bank robbers, but they’re locked up. So anyway, these guys, not the bank robbers are innocent, not guilty!” The crowd cheered. But still, the mysterious past of the snake lady is unknown, and we still don’t know where it is lurking now…

The End

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Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird, Pt Three

This is the continued story of “Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird Pt, One” and Pt Two. Click Here to see Pt One. Click Here to see Pt Two.

Now, policemen are searching for clues of the imposter police. They have been searching for weeks now and found nothing. Then, one day, while the policemen are on lunch break, they see a criminal robbing a bank! They run to the scene, armed and ready. They grab the criminal by the back and say; “Hello, have you seen some policemen running around town, besides us, one has sort of a short beard an—“ The policeman stopped, they saw them, running, right there! They jumped into their car and started the chase. The policemen were about to grab the criminals, but then the criminals crawled into the sewers, where the car could not go. One of the criminals, while closing the manhole, said; “See ya in sewa’ land!”, chuckling.

Soon after, the police sent  a team of experts to catch the criminals. They wore protective gloves and suits to keep out  the sludge and waste in the sewer. The team of experts started their journey into the disgusting sewers. They opened up the manhole that the criminals had went down and started climbing down the ladder. Once they got down, they tried to stay out of the sludge, but it was covering the whole place. Although they were not exactly allowed by the police because “It was too dangerous”, cameramen and reporters went down to see the place themselves. Then, the police suddenly heard yelling and laughter. It was the criminals, having a birthday party. But for who?

The experts watched them (the criminals) from around a corner, wondering what they were doing and who was the “Birthday person”. The experts were only experts at exploring sewers and knowing which way is safe to go through the tunnels of the sewer, so they could not confront the criminals and arrest them. rather, they drew a map on which way to go to get to the hideout of the criminals and gave it to the police once the experts got back up from the sewers. The police got on their gear, weapons, flashlights, special suits and masks, then went on their way to the dirty, dark, and stinky abyss of the world: The sewers. They followed the map, every step of the way, all looking into the paper which would lead them. Then, from up above, some sewer sludge fell on top of a policeman’s hat. They looked up, and saw a criminal climbing on the ceiling! The sewer sludge that fell must have fell off the criminals boot. The policeman shone his flashlight up. It was an ambush! The criminals jumped down with a piercing battle cry screech. Some came down on ropes, some jumped into the sewer “river” then came out, covered in disgusting sludge. They started biting the police with their dirty, neglected teeth. The police decided they were too strong, even though the police had guns, the criminals teeth pierced and hurt the police too much.

The police managed to handcuff one of the criminals, but were driven out by the bites of the other criminals. The police ran out of the sewer system and reported back to base with the captured criminal. The criminal that was captured will be interrogated, then thrown into jail. The court has already been held, the police can do whatever they want with the captured criminal. The major interrogation has not been held yet, but the police managed to get this out of the criminal: He is a male. He likes ice cream. His name is – according to him –  Bartholomew Baker. He is also a gem trader and has gotten very rich with his working.

Come read more next time, for the continued story of “Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird…

Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird, Pt Two

This is the continued story of “Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird Part One”. If you have not read part one of this story, click here to do so now.

Now that Jack Wilson, the poor man in part one of this story, is arrested, there have been angry mobs lurking around the city, waiting to jump out on the unjust policemen who put Jack in prison. The city has gone crazy, and now no one can trust each other. People are in rage for the arrest of Jack, family or not, and are constantly accusing each other of being undercover policeman. Now, nobody can just go to the market without them being jumped on or their car being assaulted by random people. If someone decides to go on a short walk, they will be jumped on and attacked with sticks. Some policeman (not the ones that arrested Jack) are going out into town to stop these terrible attacks. One sees somebody attacking another civilian and rushes to the scene. The policeman tries to pull apart the fight, but cannot do it alone. He calls for backup. More police soon come and try to pull the people apart but are bitten by the crazy man. This person seemed to not have a stick, but instead used his teeth to attack others. Chaos fills the city.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the snake lady reappears again. Herds of angry mobs rush there, stampeding over the police, before the police can process what’s going on. They all start biting the snake lady and once it is hurt, some police run out of nowhere and pull apart the angry mob. The mob recognizes these police. These are the ones who arrested Jack! They start fighting back in a rage. The police that arrested jack then pay each person in the mob $200! Where do they get all this money? But, the mobsters do not accept and one says; “In change er its nothin’ to us. And make sure them are shiny change too!” The evil police then take out their wallets and spill out mounds of change onto the street! Where do they get it all? The mobsters then take straws and suck up the change into their mouths. One of them announces; “Mmmm. That’s some good, shiny moneys”. The police report back to base and discuss the case with their boss. One of them, probably the boss, says; “Find those “Policemen”, and bring em’ to me…”

Come read more next time, for the continued story of “Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird…

Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird, Pt One

This may be surprising to you that we have an article about birds on Pupso and Pupsi, but reporters had to write something about this terrifying story, because these policeman are insane!

Recently, reporters have been looking everywhere to get an exciting story for Pupso and Pupsi, but sadly, we couldn’t find anything about dogs. Just when the reporters gave up, they heard a bird squawking like crazy. But the real thing that was crazy was the person with the bird. The reporters immediately got onto the scene. They watched someone through the window. But this wasn’t someone. When they saw the person turn around, they saw the eyes of a snake! The reporters were shocked. They started recording it live to television. Some others took pictures. They didn’t know who that was or what was going on, but this was just  the exciting story they needed. Soon, crowds gathered, all they saw was the “snake lady” pre-heating her oven in her normal looking home. The crowd started to leave. Then, soon after, she brought the same bird that the reporters heard squawking. It was a cockatiel bird, trapped in a cage. She then opened the small cage door, pulled the bird out in her claws, and stuffed the bird in the oven! Lucky for the bird, it was still pre-heating. (Snakes can’t see well, they mostly feel vibrations. Since the “snake lady” could only feel vibrations, she had no sense of time, and therefore didn’t know if the oven was still pre-heating or not.) The bird flew around the oven, hitting the sides, falling down, then flying around the small oven again. It had no escape. Someone in the crowd stopped to think and called the police. The police arrived immediately and told the crowd; “We can’t help the bird. Unless it’s an emergency, we can’t break into the house, snake lady or not.” The police surely did not understand. The crowd stood silent. Many were bird lovers. Even the ones who were not were terrified for the poor and defenseless bird, in the oven. Then, one among the crowd, suddenly yelled out; “We are going to help this bird! That snake thing is clearly not a citizen! We are going to get into that house and SAVE THAT BIRD!” The crowd cheered. The man broke into the house, ran to the snake lady’s kitchen, and opened the oven. The bird flew out as quick as he was freed. The snake lady then grabbed the man and bit him on the thumb. The crowd was silent. The person, hardly able to move, grabbed the window, opened it, and the bird flew straight out. The police arrived. They came into the kitchen and the officer said; “Arrest it at once. It makes me sick…” The people cheered, until they saw that the police grabbed the man who saved the bird, rather than the snake! The crowd was once again, silent. Then, an old woman yelled out; “I’m the king o’ Switzerland!” The police ignored her and went on, arresting the poor man. Literally poor, for when they checked the man’s records, the paper was crossed out and written huge on it “Poor”. How will this innocent man be freed from his prison cell? Are these policemen real ones?

Here is a picture of the evil snake lady, hissing at the crowd:

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Come read more next time, for the continued story of “Recent Story: Snake Lady Tries to Eat Bird…